Iris woke with a start in an unfamiliar place. The walls around her were featureless, just like the walls of her dorm room, but the objects within them were strange to her, curious artefacts of another life clouded by the half-light that her eyes strained to see through. How had she got here? Everything felt strange, alien to her, and she didn't fully understand why.

Amanita stirred beside her, and everything fell into place.

The interrogation had lasted for what felt like an age, locked in that tiny room. They'd taken her to the military police facility under armed guard like she was some kind of dangerous criminal, in a spartan military van impregnated with a stink of diesel and smoke that assaulted her nostrils. The base was some hour's drive away, either on the other side of the city or somewhere in the countryside; either way, she'd been pulled out of the van by two more mean-looking soldiers, frog-marched at gunpoint into the building and placed in a cell not that different from the one she'd been in at the base. They'd left her waiting there for at least an hour, probably more like three, before they summoned her to the interrogation room.

They'd even got her coffee wrong.

Once they'd satisfied themselves that Iris wasn't any kind of danger — obviously — they released her unceremoniously into the care of Harry Searl. He was a sight for sore eyes, though from the bags under his he looked like he hadn't slept the whole time Iris had been in custody.

Iris hadn't said a word to him. She was still sore from the arrest.

Amanita moaned in her sleep, dragging Iris back into the present. She was beautiful in her sleep; she wore the same pyjamas she'd worn every morning in the base, a faint lavender cotton decorated with delicate embroidery in deeper purple. Her breaths whispered in and out of her nose like waves lapping on the beach. Her warmth wrapped Iris like a second blanket. She looked so peaceful.

Iris really wished she could just fall back asleep next to her. But her pulse was still jumpy from whatever nightmare or night terror had woken her; no way was she going to be able to manage any more rest right now. She sighed, and nudged Amanita into wakefulness.

"Mmph?" Amanita managed.

"Sorry," Iris said. "I just… I wanted to talk."

"What about?" Amanita replied groggily. She sat up, pushing herself up onto her elbows and shuffling backwards to lean on the wall.

Iris sat up too. "Nothing, really. I just…" She sighed. "Just wanted to hear your voice, I guess."

"Oh," Amanita said.

"It's been kind of an intense few days," Iris said. That was one of the biggest understatements Iris had ever made, but words were failing her; she'd probably have to invent a whole dictionary's worth of new vocabulary to explain it properly.

"Yeah."

At least Amanita seemed to get it, on some level.

Iris sighed. "I don't really want to talk about that, though."

Amanita nodded again. "What, then?"

Iris wanted to ask Amanita to hold her. But something inside her stopped the words from coming out. For once, she found herself wishing that Thanatos could turn up and force her into assertiveness.

But nothing came. Great. Where's the crazy when you need it?

Iris shook her head. "Maybe we could watch something until I fall asleep again?"

Amanita nodded; she got out of the bed, climbing over Iris in the process, and started rummaging around in the drawers of the desk. After about a minute, she produced a tablet computer.

"What do you want to watch?" she asked as she climbed back into bed.

Iris thought for a moment. "Northwood Park?" Hopefully Amanita wouldn't judge her as too basic…

Without a word, Amanita handed her the tablet. Iris pulled up the latest episode, and together they lay in bed watching the action on the screen. The theme music, that familiar jingle Iris had heard so many times before, was like a lullaby.

It wasn't long before Iris was fast asleep once more.

Morning crept in, artificial though the light it brought was. Iris' phone failed to play its part as alarm — perhaps it'd run out of battery during the night — so she found herself waking gradually, with many false starts and failed attempts to get out of bed. Eventually, though, she found the strength to get up, and staggered to her feet with all the grace of a walrus.

She blinked violently, in a vain attempt to get the sleep out of her eyes, and started to look around for her clothes. It'd have to be her outfit from the night before, of course; from the last couple of days, really, as it wasn't like they'd given her much opportunity for changing clothes during interrogation. Still, she was hardly going to leave the room naked, even if it was just for five minutes to nip to her room for clothes, so she grabbed the crumpled top and jeans she'd left on the floor and pulled them on without any real ceremony.

She wasn't dressed for her morning jog. But frankly, she wasn't in the mood.

"That's uncommon," Thanatos said.

Oh. It was back, then.

"Did you miss me?"

Iris rolled her eyes; it was hardly the time. She was hardly about to show her full crazy in front of Amanita, was she?

"Oh, chill. She's still asleep."

Iris ignored it. Thanatos sighed dramatically.

"Talk later, then."

Iris felt Thanatos' presence fade into the background. But then, within moments, a knock came at the door; clearly, solitude wasn't going to last. She sighed, and answered it.

"Iris?"

Harry Searl stood there, clearly surprised to see her. It took Iris a moment to work out why.

"Hi, Harry," she said, awkwardly. "How are you?"

Lieutenant Searl seemed better rested than he had been the last time Iris saw him, but still clearly not at one hundred percent. Iris felt a little guilty for that.

"I'm okay," he replied. "You?"

"Fine," Iris lied.

They both stood in silence for a moment. Hopefully Harry would just not ask why she was in Amanita's room instead of her own. Hopefully.

"So… why are you here?" Iris asked.

"Oh!" Harry came out of his momentary stupor. "Right. Well, I thought the two of you would want to know…"

Iris frowned. The two of them?

"What is it?" she asked.

"It's Willow," he replied. "She's been suspended from active duty."

Honestly, that was kind of a relief. Iris nodded, masking her feelings carefully.

Harry continued, his voice low. "They've sent her back to Norfolk Plaza for evaluation."

"Evaluation?" Iris echoed. There was something in the way he said it…

Harry shrugged. "That's what they call it, but…"

"Right." Iris dreaded to think what it actually meant, though even in her most extreme guesses she struggled to find any sympathy for Willow. That bitch was just getting what was coming to her.

Harry Searl cleared his throat. "Anyway," he said. "Just wanted to let you know. You'll tell Amanita when..?"

Iris nodded again. "Yeah."

"Thanks." With that, he left.

Amanita woke about fifteen minutes later with a gurgle and a mutter. Iris looked up from the tablet she'd been killing the past ten minutes with — sat cross-legged on the floor of Amanita's room, listening to her gentle snoring — and smiled at her.

"Hey," she said. "You awake?"

Amanita rubbed her eyes and sat up, her pyjamas rucked up into rather unflattering contortions. "Think so."

"Shower?" Iris knew she could do with one, and suspected Amanita could as well.

Amanita thought for a moment, and nodded, throwing the sheets aside and standing up in one graceless movement. Iris stood up from the floor, and together they went — via Iris' room, because there was no way she was getting back into these clothes after washing — to the showers.

The lights flickered on as they entered, the communal trough and handful of cubicles illuminated in cold fluorescence and the faintly damp smell of overused plumbing. It was strange: the showers were used by three people, maximum, and Iris couldn't imagine that either of Willow or Amanita were particularly reckless with their showering, but it had taken no time at all for them to develop that characteristic must of an under-maintained gym. She'd have to talk to someone about that.

Undeterred by the smell, Amanita took the cubicle on the right. Iris went to follow her, but at the last minute, Amanita turned and stopped her.

"Um. Not yet."

"Right, sorry." Iris nodded, feeling like an idiot. Amanita was a trans girl; the worst thing Iris could do was be pushy.

"Sorry," Amanita replied.

Iris bit back another apology and took the cubicle next to Amanita. She pulled her dirty clothes off and threw them over the cubicle wall to rest next to the clean ones she'd brought, and turned the shower on. Artificial rain fell on her body, washing away the dirt and grime of the last three days. She grabbed the shampoo she'd brought from her room, and started lathering her hair.

"Harry came by," she said.

The response came from the next cubicle. "Oh?"

"Willow's been sent to Norfolk Plaza."

"Oh."

Clearly Amanita knew more than Iris did about that place, whatever it was.

Iris rinsed the shampoo and started with the conditioner. "Yeah," she agreed, though she wasn't sure exactly what she was agreeing with.

"How long?"

"Don't know. But she's suspended from active duty." She grabbed the shower gel, and started to wash her body. It was satisfying to get the grime off after so long.

"What about us?" Amanita asked.

"Don't know. I guess we get a break, too." Iris turned the water off, and grabbed the towel she'd hung from the cubicle wall. Amanita's water turned off shortly after, and the two girls set to drying themselves.

"Hey," Iris said.

"What?" Amanita replied.

Iris stalled. She knew what she wanted to ask. But… was it too soon after everything that'd happened?

On the other hand, they had just slept together.

"Um," she began. She bit her lip nervously. "Want to go into town? It could be like… a date?"

"…Okay."

Eden High Street was as busy as ever. Pedestrians of all types walked up and down the paved streets, milling around shops and restaurants of all types of levels of extravagance, almost as though there hadn't been a terrifying Aberrant incident in the square at the end only a few weeks ago. Iris and Amanita got out of their taxi at the other end of the street, and started to walk down.

Iris was dressed up in her nicest top and jean shorts, taking advantage of the warm weather. Amanita, as ever, was shrouded in her hoodie. She looked cosy, but Iris couldn't help but want a better view of her… friend? Girlfriend?

They could discuss terms later.

"Hey," Iris said. "Let's get you something nice to wear." She gestured at a shop nearby, an outlet store of Waterfall; you could get really nice things in there, if you were lucky and your timing was good. Not too pricey, either.

Amanita thought about it for a moment. "Okay."

Iris led her into the shop. It took a moment for her eyes to adjust to the dim lighting, a far cry from the beating sun outside. The shop had three main aisles to it. In the left aisle were tops and jumpers, arranged by colour, starting with earth tones toward the entrance and gradually getting more vibrant toward the far end. The middle aisle had an assortment of dresses and skirts, in various cuts and styles. The right-hand aisle was devoted to suit jackets and trousers.

Immediately, Iris went down the middle aisle, dragging Amanita along with her. "Come on! There's got to be something here that looks good on you."

Amanita followed Iris along the aisle, staring at her feet, only taking the occasional glance up at the clothes around her until—

"Wow."

Iris followed Amanita's gaze to a purple chiffon dress with trailing ribbons, cut more to float around the body than hug it. It was an asymmetric cut, with deep blue embroidery marking out a line stretching from the left shoulder to the right hip, where the skirt of the dress then billowed out into a shape vaguely reminiscent of a jellyfish, stopping just above the knee. The neck was high, and the sleeves were long and elegant.

It was gorgeous, and Amanita would look amazing in it.

"That's awesome," Iris said. "You should try it!"

Amanita shook her head. "No, it…"

Iris went straight to the rack, leafing through until she found the dress in a size that looked right. She grabbed it and held it up to Amanita, doing her best to judge it. "I think this'd be your size…"

The price wasn't bad, either.

Still, Amanita shook her head. "I don't…" She trailed off.

Iris looked at Amanita. She was tense. Her breath was shallow. Her eyes were fixed on the floor. Her hands were clenched.

Oh, crap. She was panicking.

Stupid Iris, bringing the shy trans girl clothes shopping! What could go wrong?!

"Let's just go to a café," Iris said, cursing her own shortsightedness. "We can… we can come back here later."

Amanita nodded weakly. "Sorry," she managed.

"It's okay," Iris replied, squeezing Amanita's hand. "Let's just focus on coffee and cake, okay?"

"It's just… hard," Amanita said, nursing her second americano. "Sorry. You probably…"

Iris shook her head. "No, it's my fuck-up. I should've checked in first." Her own cappuccino was finished, and she'd moved onto her cake, a slice of carrot cake topped with almonds and pistachios. "It can't be easy, being…"

"Being trans," Amanita finished. She sighed. "Not really."

The café they'd chosen was an independent business a couple of streets away from the main high street. Iris had chosen it as a quieter option than the busy chains, and she was pleasantly surprised to find the coffee here was pretty good, at least to her unrefined palate. It didn't look like much; it was all second hand furniture and cutesy ornaments, more like a tea shop somewhere in the countryside than a café in the heart of the United Kingdom's capital city. That was probably a good thing.

"Talk to me about it?" Iris asked, as gently as she could manage. "If you want to, I mean."

The last thing she wanted was to scare Amanita off.

Amanita took a deep sip of coffee. "Um. Okay." She put the mug down. "It's like… I'm always second-guessing. Things are weird with me, and I never know what's right."

Iris nodded.

"I'm not normal," Amanita continued. "It's not just about being trans. It's… I'm a Thanatos pilot as well."

Well, Iris could sympathise with that, at least: it was fucking weird, being a Thanatos pilot. Probably the only people in the world who could understand what it was like were sat around this table… or off at Norfolk Plaza, wherever that was.

"And I'm Indian. It's like… I'm so far from what I'm supposed to be."

Iris frowned. "You don't want to be Indian?" she asked.

"No, but…" Amanita sighed. "It's hard to be who I'm meant to be, when I'm already marked out as different."

Right. That kind of made sense.

"Then, who are you meant to be?" Iris asked.

Amanita shrugged. "I don't know. I just know this isn't it. Transitioning helped a bit, but… it's not enough. It's like there's this huge gap between who I have to be… and who I need to be."

That felt kind of familiar. Between Dad and the military types, Iris was being pulled in every which way. How much worse would that be for Amanita? She could hardly imagine.

"Is there anything that helps?" Iris asked.

"Piloting," Amanita replied. "But…"

"No, I get it," Iris said. "It's like… when you're in that machine, it feels like you can do anything. Be anything."

Amanita nodded. "Pure potential. No limits."

"But then you come back down to Earth," Iris finished.

"Yes. And then nothing feels right any more."

Some time earlier…

Amanita had no idea what time it was when they let her out of interrogation. She didn't really care, either: she was exhausted, and probably could have slept well even if it was broad daylight outside. The door opened with a clunk, the handcuffs were removed, and she found herself led out through the corridors and into a wide courtyard with high walls on each side and guard towers on each corner. A handful of soldiers stood, casually chatting, as she entered, and one or two of them even looked over at her. Amanita tried not to think about how masculine she must have looked. Probably very.

It turned out to be early evening.

The guards led her through the courtyard to a door on the other side, through a corridor into a sort of lobby area. The lobby was empty save for one person; Lieutenant Harry Searl sat in a chair underneath a plain-looking old-style analogue clock, reading a book. He looked up when Amanita came in.

"Amanita!" he said brightly. "I hope they didn't treat you too roughly?"

Amanita didn't know what to say — not while the guards were still here — so she said nothing. Perhaps reading her mind, Lieutenant Searl looked to the guards on either side of her, and smiled.

"I'll take it from here, lads."

The guards saluted and left without a word. Odd, given they were being relieved by a superior officer.

"Is Iris out?"

The question slipped out of Amanita so suddenly that she almost hadn't noticed her lips moving. Lieutenant Searl smiled apologetically in response.

"Not yet," he said. "They said it'll be soon; the Colonel's been pulling some strings. He doesn't like not having anyone ready for deployment."

Amanita nodded. It made sense. He'd been frustrated enough just having one.

Lieutenant Searl gestured at the seat beside his. "Maybe you'd better sit down. You look exhausted."

She was.

Amanita sat, the exhaustion oozing from her limbs like mud from wet earth. It wasn't just that they'd asked her all those questions, and not let her sleep properly. It was… something else, something she couldn't quite put her finger on, something not quite right about everything that had made her even less able to relax than usual.

Maybe it was the lack of decent coffee.

The doors swung open again, and Amanita jolted awake. Had she drifted off? For how long? (Had she been leaning on the Lieutenant's shoulder?) She blinked sleep out of her eyes and looked at the door. Was that… Iris?!

Iris came into the room flanked by the same two guards as before. She looked rough. Her hair was all over the place, sweat marks littered her clothing and her eyes carried huge bags. She didn't so much walk in as stagger. Amanita didn't care; Iris was a sight for sore eyes, and Amanita's were about as sore as it gets.

She was beautiful.

"Iris!"

Iris smiled weakly. "Hey, Amanita."

She grabbed Iris by the hand and didn't let go.

Lieutenant Searl drove the girls back to base in a military jeep, the two of them in a tangled cuddle in the back seat. Willow was staying for further questioning, apparently, until they could decide what to do with her. In a way, Amanita was thankful for her absence; she would probably have objected to Amanita and Iris' display of affection, and Amanita didn't really want to be apart from Iris right now, even by only a few inches. But at the same time, she couldn't help but worry about what Willow was going through.

Even once they'd got to the base, Amanita couldn't let Iris go. Instead, they walked arm-in-arm to the dormitories, barely keeping it together until they reached Amanita's room. Then, the floodgates opened.

Amanita had never been a big crier. The same wasn't true of Iris; she sat on Amanita's bed with tears and snot running down her face and onto Amanita's hoodie, wailing and screaming into Amanita's shoulder and holding her so tight she felt like she might burst.

Amanita envied her. She wished she could cry, too.

"Um, it's okay," she tried. "I'm here…"

Iris only cried harder at that. But she pulled away a little, and started to mouth words. It was some kind of progress.

"I was… so scared…"

"Me too."

"I didn't want… something to happen… to you…"

"I'm okay…"

"…before… I could tell you…"

The tears slowly started to dry up.

"I know," Amanita said.

She did.

Before their date could continue after its coffee break, Iris and Amanita were summoned back to base. Apparently, Colonel Adler wanted to discuss when they could resume active duty, though from the tone of the message it sounded a bit like he'd already made his mind up. So, Iris and Amanita found themselves back in that theatre-style meeting room on the ops floor of the base, looking expectantly at the Colonel and Doctor Klein for their instructions. Though, this time, they were holding hands just below their chairs.

Nobody seemed to notice. Or at least, if they did, they weren't telling.

"Right," Adler began. "So we've had a setback."

Iris suppressed an eye-roll. That was one way of putting it.

"But the threat posed by the Aberrants is still there," he continued, "which means we need to be back at operational A.S.A.P." He drew the acronym out into its component letters, emphasising each so as to underscore his point. "What do we need to do to get there?"

He looked expectantly at Iris and Amanita. But Iris had no idea what to say. What did she need?

"You need a break," Thanatos told her.

The voice came from just over her left shoulder. Like a little devil, Iris thought. Thanatos grunted, unimpressed at the idea.

Amanita raised her hand. "We need repairs," she said. "And a replacement."

Adler grimaced, and looked at Doctor Klein. She shook her head.

"Not on the cards, I think," Adler said. "But the repairs, we can do. In the meantime, Iris?"

"Yes?"

"You'll be our main for the foreseeable. Are you up to it?"

Amanita squeezed her hand; Iris drew strength from it.

"I think so," she said. "Maybe."

The Colonel turned to Klein, and for the first time, Iris noticed how tired the Doctor looked, stood there in her rumpled, white blouse and suit trousers. Had she not slept?

"How soon can we make the modifications you've proposed to Unit #44?" Colonel Adler asked.

Thanatos bristled. "They're doing what?!"

"They're already underway," Klein replied. "I didn't want to waste the downtime."

Adler twitched, but nodded. "Right. Good."

Just which of them was in charge here, anyway?

Amanita raised her hand again. "I want to fight." Iris' heart lurched.

She wasn't sure if she could let that happen.

"But, Amanita, your unit…"

"Is still undergoing repair," Klein finished. "But, we should be finished soon. Rest assured, we'll have you back in action soon enough."

Thanatos continued to seethe.

"What have they done to my body?" it asked.

Iris relayed the question, albeit with its serial numbers filed off. She had to, or she'd never hear the end of it. "What modifications are you making to m— to my unit?"

Klein looked her coldly.

"Well, the new weapon, of course," she replied. "We're giving you the Cutting Ray."

Next time:

Iris and Amanita are back in action! But the latest Aberrant seems to have some way of fooling their sensors. But what's wrong with Amanita's unit? Come on, girl, move!

Find out in the next exciting episode. Episode Fourteen: Catatonia!